"Full Speed Ahead" - or - "Where's My Racing Goggles?"

Continuing along my borderline-OCD habit of list making, I've thoughtfully contructed this year's goal's list.   I found it interesting to see how different this year's list turned out from every other year (I've been doing this faithfully every year since 2007) - and I think it's a direct reflection of how different my life looks now, six years later. My goals back then were very "utilitarian" in nature and reflected my basic needs and drive for survival during some very challenging times and negative circumstances.  This time I see a dramatic shift from "survival mode", I feel like I'm finally able to change gears, shift right into DRIVE, and put the pedal to the metal!  hahaha ;)


Here's this years list!

+ goals list for 2013 +

Keep a journal.

read more often.

run.

no more sissy workouts - LIFT!

invest: in the future, in others, in myself +

Work smarter, not just harder.

Keep my priorities in order.

paint something.  =

Keep the big picture in mind . . .

 . . .but pay more attention to the details+

learn something new.

Find little ways to make every day a little bit special =

  And there ya have it ;)
If I was to describe the overall theme of this year's goal, I would say my ultimate overall goal would be something like, to be Wonderwoman  to strive for ultimate health and balance - in all areas : mind, body, and soul. I've learned the ridiculously hard way through personal experience that all three of these need to be healthy and in balance to truly experience life to the fullest.

But more importantly, IT TAKES WORK to keep healthy and balanced,  and YOU CAN'T DO IT ALONE. Everyone needs a support network, a few close friends to encourage you and whom you can truly rely on to give you that "tough love" when you need to held accountable.  Be willing to be that supporter to someone else as well - it's about give and take and giving back is just as important in that balance!

Have you set any goals for the year?  I welcome you to post a link in the comments section to your own list!  If you haven't made one,  I hope this at least inspires you to consider it -  goals are good motivators to get you out of bed on difficult mornings. And there's nothing quite like the feeling of crossing an accomplished goal off the list!  If you feel like you have noone around you to count on to support you in achieving your goals, then I WILL. I am right here for you - I will be your online source of encouragement, inspiration and tough love when you need it. Come read my blog whenever you need to be reminded that YOU'RE NOT ALONE, and that someone out there truly beleives in you - that someone is me! 

I've made up my mind to plug in my bass guitar and begin my first lesson.

Well, I'm gone for now, like all the feeling in my fingertips!

-J




 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

May the new year spark new hope iin your heart like a million candles!

Hugs warmer than the sparks flying of these sparklers,

-J

 

Dealing with Disappointment

This is my youngest son Zach when he was only three years old, with his highly unimpressed  Mr. Grumpy Pants look, hahaha! As you can see he was quite disappointed with something at that present moment  and clearly showed it.

Everyone feels disappointment and I just want you to know that if you are facing a huge disappointment in your life right now, you're not alone!  I had quite a sucker-punch to the guts today myself. Not gonna lie, I was extremely disappointed about it, I had been planning and preparing for quite some time now and was really choked when things didn't pan out the way I thought they should have.

So like any other normal human being I felt discouraged and frustrated and plain ol" bummed out/. It's hard to know what to do next when all your carefully laid plans get derailed. Expecially when the circumstances are completely beyond your control. So, what next?

Take a deep breath, hold it while you give the hot tears stinging your eyelids a minute to subside, and let that breath out slowly . . . while I congratulate you on this new opportunity!  WHAT??? I can hear you thinking " What the shiitake mushrooms is she talking about?!?!" haha.  It's not easy to see a long-desired door slam in your face as an opportunity, but when doors close on us it's kinda like God's way of saying " Careful there kiddo, you were headed in the wrong direction!".
One door closing means you just have to keep walking till you find an open window.  It does NOT mean we give up our on our dreams. It does NOT mean we slump down in a defeated heap and wait for our goals to be handed to us on a silver platter. It DOES mean that the particular WAY we thought something was supposed to work out, wasn't the best way and so we need to look for the opportunities that an open window will give us instead.  That open window may have a beanstalk growing right outside reaching into the sky, that we might never have noticed if we had wasted our time and energy beating our fists against a closed door or slumped in a corner in defeat,  And if that window doesnt open? Then try another one,.  And another one. I love the quote  "Courage is not always as a loud roar, sometimes it is the quiet voice that says 'I will try again tomorrow". (don't know who it's by, but if you do, comment below so I can give due credit )

I want to encourage amyone who is feeling disappointed right now, whoever has had their hopes deflated and feels like their dreams for the future just won't work out,  to HANG IN THERE., Because as long as you keep trying, keep getting back up, keep hoping, you WILL make it happen!

It's hard to do that,. I"m not gonna lie to ya sometimes hanging in there means gritting your teeth, or tears of frustration streaming down your face. As a single mama of two young children I have had my share of struggles with juggling the demands of raising a family and working 2 (sometimes 3) jobs and trying to pay the bills, run my own business and just keep my sanity through it all.  I remember sitting on the floor in my kitchen at 2 a.m. crying because I couldnt rememher the last time I was able to pay the phone, the electricity and the gas bills in the same month, wondering how on earth I was going to make the rent and being so sick and tired of always feeling like no matter where I was, whether at work or at home with my kids, that I was always supposed to be somewhere else. (Like when I was working, I'd feel guilty about not being with my kids, yet when I was home with them I'd feel guilty that I wasnt working more to provide for them better)  In those times, it seemed that all I was ever doing was struggling to make it from one day to the next, like reaching for any of my own dreams was out of the question, and  and every time I'd get close to being able to actually make ends meet, someone would move the ends! Hahaha

Those times did eventually pass though.  It took alot of hard work and alot of patience and reconfiguring and reconstructing and sorting things out. I made some necessary adjustments (including moving my kids and I into a smaller house that was more affordable, and as it turned out, newer and nicer too!) and things eventurally worked out for the best, and I no longer have to deal with the stress that I once dealt with on a daily basis.. Even then things didnt go entirely smoothly, A week and a half before I moved I wound up getting robbed! Someone broke into my almost-entirely-packed-up house and trashed the place and my computer and camera equipement were all stolen.  And since at the time I didn't have tenants insurance it was a devastating blow to lose such important equipment to my business and personal well-being! Again, it was patience and working even harder to gain back what had been lost ( or in this case, stolen) and eventually I wound up with more than I started out with.  Now I am eagerly looking forward to the future and slowly moving forward with my plans to meet my goals and dreams. One more derailment isn't going to slow me down, it;s just going to challenge me to look for the opportunity I might have missed out on along the way!

 Sometimes it means starting over from scratch, sometimes for the millionth time. Sometimes it means finding a whole new approach, or developing a new strategy or inventing a radical new paradigm.  If eveyone gave up, we would never have things like lightbilbs or telephones! hahaha. This is an opportunity to find out what your're made of! To challenge yourself.  I want to encourage you that you can accomplish whatever goal you"ve set you heart on, DON'T GIVE UP =)  I want you to know in your heart that someone believes in you and that person is me and I"m telling you that you can do it and you can come back and re-read this as many times as you need to in a day to remind yourself of that!

Do things always work out the exact way we think they should ?  No, sometimes they turn out much, much better! And if they haven't yet then it means the journey isn't over yet and the best part is still yet to come!

Hope and encouragement for your heart,
-J

Love Can Move Mountains

I have always believed that Love can move mountains. 

In an imperfect world, where there is so much pain and suffering, it is so inportant to have love, and more than anything else, HOPE.  I know that for some of you,  hope is a four-letter word that only means disappoinment and heartbreak.  For some of you, the pain is so deep and so strong, that you feel like giving up. I want you to know that even in these times of hurt,  you are not alone. Please know that.

Peaple have asked me how I always seem so happy. They ask why I am always smiling and cheerful and positive. It makes me laugh when people say I must have such an easy life.  I have been accused of being "fake' at times, even called "insensitive" by people who can't understand how someone can smile during rotten times.  My joy is genuine, but it is not because of my life. My life is so far from easy and perfect it hurts.

 I have been hurting for a very long time. I don't remember a time when I didnt feel pain in my heart from circumstances in my life.  I do my best to not focus on the circumstance, but on the good things in my life:, My beautiful children, my family and friends and for God's merciful patience and grace for me through all of my many mistakes.  

This alone is what allows me to smile in the midst of all my pain. The peace in my heart through it all has taught me that it IS posible to dance in the rain.   At times when circumstances have become almost unbearable, I pray for the strength to carry on.  To just get through  one,   more.    day.  I thank God for all he has brought me through.  

Whether you believe in God or not,  I will not attempt to argue with you or try to change your mind.  I am simply sharing what gives me hope, strength to smile in the midst of my pain, and peace during the storms to "dance in the rain".I believe:

God is Love.

Love can move mountains.

Even the ones we can't.   

I have seen it for myself, so I know in my heart that this is true.  I need to look no further than my own parents,  and all they have overcome,  for a shining example of this.  

To those of you who feel hopeless,  please know that you are not alone, You don't have to carry around all that pain anymore, you can let it be lifted from your shoulders,  Please hang on,  even just one more day. And then just one more day after that.  You never know what opportunities are waiting for you just around the corner.  There is hope. .There is Love. 

And Love can move mountains.  Even this one. 

 I hope that any of the hurting hearts out there, searching for a shred of hope to cling to,  will be comforted by reading this.  And I hope your hearts will find the encouragement to just hang in there.

If no one else has told you they love you,  know that I love each and every one of your precious hearts  reading this.  And now that you know that someone out there genuinely loves you,  share that love in your heart with someone you know who needs it too.

A Big Warm Blanket Right Out of the Dryer for Your Heart,

-J

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,

So love the people who treat you right
,forgive the ones who don't,

and believe that everything happens for a reason.

If you get a chance, take it.

If it changes your life, let it.

Nobody said life would be easy,

They just promised it would be worth it.

Project #4 - Broken Glass

 I arrived at Project #4 quite by accident today, as a matter of fact. My original intent for Project #4 was actually stained glass. I took a friend of mine (and her two little sidekicks, haha) along for the ride,  After having no luck with the stained glass (every church we came across was locked up and empty. And it's a Sunday today, so what's up with that? haha) we decided to head into town to do a bit of shopping, That's when I came across this BEAUTIFUL glass mosaic bowl.
I love mosaics. They are so artistic, so creative and resourceful.  Who knew broken glass could be made into something so eye-catching and beautiful?  It sparkles from every angle.  The thing is, all those bits of glass have to be broken in order to create this masterpeice of art.
Life isn't perfect,  Our lives (and our hearts) can sometimes feel like they've been broken apart and we don't know how or why certain situations turned out the way they did, like tiny pieces of shattered glass, instead of in one peice like we think it should be. But you know what? YOU are a masterpeice in the making,  You may not see how all the pieces fit together just yet. But one day you will be able to look back and see the masterpeice that those broken peices created. Each piece exactly where it should be, made perfect by a creator, the Master Artist, if you will, But these things take time, they don't all get carelessly thrown together at once. It takes patience and time to put each peice exactly where it needs to be.  But when it's finished, that glass shines brighter than before, each broken piece reflecting more light, adding more depth, more dimension and beauty.
So no matter how undone, how broken your life may feel at times, remind yourself that you are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be right now! You can shine in the midst of your brokeness and pain, knowing that one day, these broken times will shine bright as a single pieces of a  much larger masterpeice of your life. My favorite quote from Marilyn Monroe is this "... And sometimes good things fall apart, so that greater things can fall together"  Maybe she had things figured out a little more than people gave her credit for.

Some of the other mosiac peices that caught my eye today . . .

We had originally driven around looking for stained glass windows today but the locked church doors were

as close as we got!  hee hee

And no, I can't take a normal picture ever, even when I'm supposed to be driving!  =)

The kids started to fall asleep .  .  awww =)

 Wakey, wakey, Sunshine!

We had to wait for my friend to change her son's diaper, so me and the missy here waited in style. She looks pretty sharp wearing my sunglasses hey? haha. (and you gotta love the zebra print chair!)

AND NOW FOR THE INCREDIBLY GRAPHIC VIOLENCE SCENE......

(viewer discretion is advised )

Yes this REALLY IS what I think of valentines day, hahaha!  And yes I AM attemptng to strangle an innocent stuffed Love Monkey plush toy.  Ahem. Back to the rest of my photo adventure....

After a long day of hunting for stained glasss windows, driving, shopping and photo taking, and about 641 bathroom breaks ( hee hee)  we finally made it back to my friend's house for pizza. 

 This pic here was taken by her 4 year old daughter ( well I cropped it a bit, haha) Not bad hey? A budding future photographer one day? My eventual successor perhaps?   I guess we"ll just have to wait and see!

That was my lil' "photo adventure" day in trying to find project #4 for you. It didn't turn out the way I'd expected, but I think it worked out pretty well =)

Mosaics and (stuffed) Monkeys,

-J

LOOK WHAT I GOT FOR MY BIRTHDAY!

Besides the oodles of homemade gifts my sons showered me with today ( I love them!) I wanted to share with you a particular item I got for my birthday this year - a pair of beautiful feather earrings, made for me by a girl in a local coffee shop! I admired the one she was wearing and when she said she made it herself I immediately placed a request! These handmade beauties are each one-of-a-kind originals ( she never makes the exact same pair twice) and just so you know, THERE WAS NO HARMING OF BIRDS IN THE MAKING OF THESE EARRINGS! They are made of 100% moulted feathers from bird sanctuaries. (She has a gorgeous orange parrot feather earring I have my eye on still, haha)

Besides being beautiful and unique, there is another reason these earrings are special to me. Do you know why birds moult their feathers? Becuause once a feather is matured (come to end of its life cycle) it is a dead structure. It becomes worn down and needs to be replaced. Healthy feathers grown in their place, necessary not only for controlling body temperature and keeping out moisture, but for proper flight.

People carry around dead feathers too, it's called "baggage." You all know what I'm talking about! And we walk around hanging on to all these dead feathers, and wonder why we can't ever seem to get off the ground! It can be extremely difficult letting go of the dead weight that is holding you down - believe me when I say I've been there! - but eventually you have to come to realize that's exactly what it is: dead weight holding you back from soaring the way you were meant to. It may have been a part of you in the past, but it's purpose has been fulfilled, it's life-cycle is over. And in order for healthy feathers to grow, the old ones MUST GO!

Feathers are meant to lift you OFF the ground, not drag you down in it!

As we are nearing the end of 2010, I encourage you to please, [PLEASE don't bring any "old feathers" into the new year with you! Let the new year bring new feathers, new opportunities and new people, and may your hearts finally get back to soaring freely the way they were meant to!

If you find you need a reminder to keep you moulting all those old "feathers", buy yourself a pair of earrings like I did, I'll let you know who to contact!

Happy Christmas, Happy New Year, and HAPPY FLYING!!!! =)

How Not To Have a Bad Day

How NOT to Have a Bad Day:

1) Get up with your alarm and don't accidently fall back to sleep. (oops, )

2) Rememeber to set the coffeemaker on "auto" the night before so it's already brewed by the time you're ready to splash some into a travel mug as you're dashing out the door.

3) Triple-check the fridge to make sure the kids remembered to grab their lunches so you don't spend your lunch break bringing them their lunches, hehe

4) G'rocery-shop on your lunch hour sans-kids so you're not doing it after work when they ask you for EVERYTHING in the store (note: this only works if you accomplish #3)

5) Start dinner as soon as you get home from work (this only works if you accomplish #4)

6) Snuggle with the kids and read them a story before hed. ( this works no matter how your day went already!)

And THAT my friends, is how to NOT have a bad day, heehee. Mine obviously didnt go that smoothly, The only thing I DID do was #6.... and honestly it really didnt matter after that how the rest of my day had been going up until then. The rain is coming down hard on the roof, and I`m typing this as I sit at my coffee table in front of a roaring fire (which is in my fireplace, don`t worry) While today was a relatively mundane and easy-to-recover-from day in the grand scheme of things, sometimes it feels like life really does sucker-punch ya, right in the kisser! And hey, sometimes you could swear all the computerized equipment in your office are conspiring against you ( the ones in my office seem to on a regular basis anyways, just ask my boss!) But NO MATTER WHAT, whether it was nothing more than a bad hair day ( hey come on, we ALL have those!) or you`ve spent a night crying tears of heartbreak, please know that you are not alone out there. I`ve had my fair share of heartbreaks in the not-so-distant past, and I also know what an uphill battle it is to pick yourself up time and time again and keep going. But after the darkest hour has passed (and the darkest hour WILL pass) the sun WILL rise again, A new day means the chance to make new choices. For those of you out there whose hearts are breaking right now, I wish I could give you the world`s BIGGEST hug. (And, in some cases, the world's biggest KLEENEX, hehe) For those of you whose hearts are still intact, PLEASE, take time to notice all the hurting hearts around you, as you go about your day. You were there once too, remember., maybe even not too long ago. You have a chance to make someone else`s day a better day today. So here`s a sunrise just for you. in case its cloudy outside your windows when you wake up, to remind you that "this too, shall pass".

awesome-sized kleenex's and even more awesome sunrises,
-J